FromDeathToRecovery

Google Photos

So. Photo Memories in your phone can be gut wrenching… well that’s if you have a past like I do. On days where it seems like I’ve tried to forget where I’ve been… Google Photos makes damn sure I don’t.

I can be having the best day ever and the memories will pop up on my phone to remind me of the hell I was in for so long. The pain I’ve caused my family, my child. All right there in color for me to see. With some audio too.

For a long time I just wanted to erase everything and start over. Erase every single memory in my phone. I probably should. But I just never could bring myself to.

A lot of my daughters younger years I was high. And as much as I would like to erase the pictures. It’s the only memories and pictures I do have of her being that young.

I guess what I’m getting at is sometimes I just wish I could take all of it away. Act like it never existed. But that’s not the reality.

But with the more an more time that goes by those memories get easier to bear. The better life gets and the more good times that come my way, those unsettling pictures fade away and become not as painful.

When they come up now I just breathe and talk to God. And thank him for saving my life. I am a miracle to be alive. With my whole entire soul, I am thankful. I believe.

If you believe that some people are irredeemable, you can take a look in my google photo memories.

Meditation for the Day

Like a tree, I must be pruned of a lot of dead branches before I will be ready to bear good fruit. Think of changed people as trees that have been stripped of their old branches, pruned, cut, and bare. But through the dark, seemingly dead branches flows silently, secretly, the new sap, until with the sun of spring comes new life. There are new leaves, buds, blossoms, and fruit, many times better because of the pruning. I am in the hands of a Master Gardener, who makes no mistakes in His pruning.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may cut away the dead branches of my life. I pray that I may not mind the pruning, since it helps me to bear good fruit later.

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Terra Hayes

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2 responses to “Google Photos”

  1. Donna Marks Avatar
    Donna Marks

    I thank God every day for you. God has a purpose for you. I admire your dedication and commitment. And your bond with Anaiah is incredible. I love to watch the two of you together. What a Blessing.

    Reply
  2. David Avatar
    David

    Ugh. I have a lot of mixed emotions about my photo archives. There are gaps, too. Memories “erased”. Just like my actual memory. And then for so many of the photos, I want to view them with “rose colored glasses” – pretending things were better than they really were.

    I remember the times spent with family, hanging out and really working hard to be sure everyone else was having a good time, while I was miserable and hiding from myself.

    I also remember singing the Big Daddy Weave song “I Am Redeemed” in church while feeling unworthy to be standing on stage, and like I was a liar and a fool for being there.

    And, since I’m married, when I look through the photo archives with my wife, I notice now that she has a lot different reaction to some of those photos than I do. A sadness I didn’t recognize before.

    Yeah…It’s good to view those archives without the rose colored glasses. Not always easy, but good.

    Thanks for being real and sharing your life. You’re doing the hard thing, the good thing!

    Reply

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