This sure isn’t going to be the “perfect” blog post.
I was thinking yesterday on the way home from work.. How hard life can be. The unspoken battles of people. Recovering addicts, or people in general right? Life is tough.. Whether we have made a name for ourselves or not. Life is going to show up and kick you in the ass.
Dealing with family and relationships is hard. It’s damn hard. Carrying the weight of generational curses that have been handed down to you is even harder. I get it. I’m not one to sit in self pity. But when shit happens we’ve got to acknowledge it right?
I’m not going to lie. I have been struggling lately. No, I haven’t went an used drugs. What some may presume seeing as how I am a recovering drug addict. But I have been questioning a lot of things. Friendships, relationships, family, MYSELF.. Make no mistake my number one critic is myself. If there is anyone to criticize it’s ME,
It’s funny how life continues to go by day after day. Those who make it, make it. Those who don’t, don’t. But life goes on.
What I don’t understand is those who strive to make something of themselves only to be seen with no support.
My dream one day is to open a Rehab for Women with children who have suffered with addiction. Then I will feel as if I have achieved true success. I know what it’s like to suffer. I know what I have to give to others. I give all I have in all areas of my life. I’m beginning to feel as if I give too much.
A question came up the other day at work. My boss wanted to give a job to me that someone else had had title of for the last two years. I asked him “well what will “so and so” think of this. haven’t ya’ll been friends for a while”? He proceeded to tell me “yes but that’s the name of the game.. It’s part of life”
I truly wish life didn’t have to be played out like this it makes me sad.
I love all of you dearly. Truly. This is a reminder to hug the ones dearest to you.
The intrusive thoughts that go on within my head daily are harsh. I hope you have no idea what I experience. And if you think you have a glimpse then YOU ARE STRONG. I SEE YOU.
If you are a recovery addict you are a miracle and if you are a recovering addict as a single mother you are a fucking warrior!!!!